Envymonger

Envy is a hell of a thing. Powerful, dominating, relentless. In a way it intoxicates us with its influence and has the ability to change our dispositions and our personalities. Even the best of us have had our moments where we relinquished our morals and sacrificed them on the altar of envy.

It takes great discipline and a strong personality to fight the forces of envy when they come. A society that moves forward on it’s fixed track, consuming merit as a fuel and being propelled with competition as an intricate and powerful engine, will no doubt create individuals who desire nothing but to get to a position of mental comfort. Being worth something is much better that competing all the time for some sort of minimal appreciation. But we believe that for us to be worth something we first need to prove that we are as good as others, or better. As we work to prove ourselves, we can’t help but look to the side, or to the front, and notice that there are others who dare to try as hard as we are trying, possibly taking the very same thing you’ve been fighting so hard for. That fear, that sensation of maybe this will be all for nothing, because this other person exists and they can get there before I do, hurts.

Turns out that we are a competing species. We were naturally wired like that, and that’s a good thing. It’s what you do when you feel the envy bug within you that matters in the end. Do you make a bitter, sarcastic comment to your friend when they make a piece of art that is better than yours, just to snatch away some satisfaction from them? Do you spread gossip behind your friend’s back when they get together with someone you’ve had a secret crush on for a while? Do you call the police on your neighbor when they have a small party next door, while you wallow in solitude in your dark room, friendless and bitter at life? Or do you look at yourself in the mirror and tell yourself: “you could’ve done better, and you didn’t. They are happy today because they worked to be there, and you could do the same tomorrow.”?

Jordan B. Peterson has a great line: “Compare yourself to who you were yesterday, not to who someone else is today”. I love that line. Yes, envy should help us be a little more competitive, but it shouldn’t make us bitter. We have no idea what goes on other people’s lives, and why they are or are not successful. We should instead switch our attention to ourselves only, and strive to be better tomorrow than we were yesterday.